You may have noticed that this is the longest time that we haven't updated the Dustin blog. After our whirlwind Christmas and holiday travels, Jessi started working full-time at Lewis & Clark college on January 2nd. And that's where the silence began!
Dustin started going to day care. We chose a daycare close to our house, CCLC (Childrens' Creative Learning Center), that impressed us with the fun activities that the preschoolers were doing, the general cleanliness and competency that we experienced when we toured the facility. Logically, I really think that day care is a good thing for Dustin. He fusses at home because he gets bored with the plain walls, and with our limited attention as we try to get other things done around the house. At day care there are lots of toys, and a stimulating environment. There are other kids to watch and interact with. And there are teachers who actually know what to do with babies. Furthermore, I could tell that Jeff and I were really struggling while taking care of Dustin full time. Our relationship was getting strained, and the stress level in the household was rising.
But even with this rational justification of bringing Dustin to day care, it was So Hard. His second day at day care I went with Jeff to drop him off. It was a peaceful day at daycare, and we placed Dustin in the little exer-saucer (like he has at home, see this
older post). He started to play, and we just walked out of the door. I cried gently all the way to work. Jeff was surprised that I was so emotional. It brings tears to my eyes just to write about it now. I think it was from his little face, that just seemed vacantly content. Like we could put him down anywhere, and he would deal with it. We could drop him off at a fire station, and he would grow up with someone else, and never remember us, and he would be just fine. It made me want to hold him closer, tighter, and never let him go, so he would know how much I love him. So he would get all the best possible starts to this budding life of his.
I have dropping him off or picked him up a handful of times since then, and it has not gotten any easier. All of the remaining times there has been some level of crying going on in the infant room. There are 8 babies and 2 care takers. So at any given time, 2 babies are being handled, 2 babies are asleep, and 4 babies are left to play on their own. I have rarely seen Dustin crying when I pick him up, but the crying makes me feel like it is a stressed environment, and the caretakers are not quite able to keep up with the baby's demands. I think this is just the way of day care and the way of babies. Crying is normal. It is not a sign of stress or distress. Dustin is happy at home, seems content to be left at day care, and seems content to come home with us at the end of the day.
I don't have any pictures to post, because this new part of my life has less time with Dustin, and fewer opportunities for pictures. Maybe I'll hassle the ladies at daycare for a group photo I can share with you all at some point.